I don't even know if I spelled that right.

I've been so wrapped up in myself and my little issues lately that I've been kind of blowing off school. Yes, I'm graduating soon but I need to pass these classes first.

Just need to remind myself of that every once in a while.

Except I think the initial split was at the age of four and I'm sure that alcohol at the age of four can't be good.

My point is, I think alcohol brings out our repressed sides. I'm normally not an outwardly aggressive person (at least not until recently) but oftentimes when I drink I turn into a pissed-off, swearing mess saying all of the things that run through my head but never quite make it out of my mouth. A roommate, normally relatively upbeat, cries when she's drunk. Another roommate also lets her repressed side come through...haha.

Anyway, I don't think we're going to be seeing any of that for a while. I am slowly but surely learning to drink in moderation. No more waking up off-balance and hungover which I think has happened three or four times in the past month or so. At least not for a while. My liver has had enough.

Anyway, after they worked their ghetto magic on my stock silver bullet rice rocket sedan we hit up Fry's and Croc Cafe (got to ride in Irv's xB since they didn't let me drive for obvious reasons) and I swear every mail truck I see will be a painful reminder of my fantastic driving.

Yesterday was Japanese food, fondue, and beer with some good people. There are photos. Some of which certain people will regret being in. An account of last night will come (much) later.

So how are you doing today?

DD: I saw your friend there. And then I stabbed her.

Me: Really? Which friend?

DD: The one with the stab wound.

The drive - the hotel

ray's sexy elbow =0 i'd tell why this is significant but it never happened dainty huntz elevator at luxor and it begins with andy and steve girls photo on the guys bed =0 high class ghetto april is a single (not) black female addicted to retail breaking in maria's shoes....*ahem* steve big pimpin' it stupid waitress cut off steph :( i beat huntz at the sugar game :D little bit of gambling before going back to the room

So THIS time I got picked up at my place by Skim in Ray's Jetta. As usual they stuck me in the middle, this time between Steph and Ray. Huntz got shotgun ("gunshot") and Steve drove because Steve's an awesome driver like that. Aside from the fact that I was stuck in between two people who thought it would be funny to tickle me it was a good drive up. We got Ray to say words like "panties" and "booty" and "elbow". Somewhere on the way to Vegas we stopped to get food at In n Out. Christy gave me a call when we were eating and I believe my dad had called me as well...something about getting something from the university bookstore or something. Right on. I really don't remember what time we got there, but we waited around so we could meet up with Aaron, Andy, April and Maria (birthday girl!), got ourselves checked in, discovered that there was no fridge, filled the sink with ice to chill our booze, and then headed back down to go eat. Aaron lost the ICE COLD pin that Huntz made him and drew things on Andy's back with his finger in a very un-homosexual fashion. Huntz beat me in the sugar game and I had to down a packet of that funky sugar in the raw stuff--but then I beat him and he had to do the same :D We also did a lot of portrait-sketching and Huntz (the graphics major of all people) made me look completely deformed. Punk. We headed out to the casino floor because some of us have gambling problems, but the girls left shortly afterward so we could go upstairs, chill, and get ready to head out to the club. And yes I realize that this is a bit short but the rest will come later. So chill.

Aaron offered up the keys to his new BMW and I hope it was with the knowledge that I would say no because if he seriously thought that I might say yes I would seriously question his sanity.

My life has turned upside-down in a matter of weeks. I feel like I'm in a time warp (a slightly offset time warp) except I'm a little older and perhaps even a little wiser. Everything is coming back to me as a result of my newfound free time, everyone's newfound singleness (99 billion breakups and counting), random phone call from a lost friend to an old friend, drunk dialing (which was perhaps a good thing) and IMing (sorry sorry sorry to all of you), and a million other bizarre happenings.

Hm. Get your mind around that. I'm still having trouble.

right.

I think I know why they say you need to love yourself before you love someone else. It sounds so ridiculously cheesy and cliché but it's so true. Maybe that's where the big problems started. A lot of the time I didn't think that I deserved to be happy and sometimes I still don't think I do. And sometimes I really feel like it's just not going to happen for me. And right now I really don't know.

Things will work out how they work out and I'll just have to deal with it.

*hahahah sar i can't believe you're the only one who commented on that...

Speaking of cars, lil Skim noted how ironic it was that we had driven hundreds of miles in my car over the weekend and came out unscathed, but the minute I pull out of my carport to go to school (a one mile trip) I hit another car. And yes, it did seem ironic until I realized that for all of those hundreds of miles we put on the car, I probably only drove about 15 of them AND NOW WE KNOW WHY RIGHT GUYS???

Club Naga is a really nice place. It overlooks the water. More on that later.

now go back to work

My thoughts are all mixed up and sometimes I feel like crying but I can't and it hurts. And somehow I have to carry on as before because the world isn't going to stop and wait for me to finish tying my shoe.

I feel kind of numb right now. I look like shit because I was crying a little last night and I'm puffy. Plus I didn't get much sleep.

I want you to know that I still care a lot about you and it kills me to know that you're hurting so much. That wasn't my intention. I want you in my life but I understand if you can't see me right now. I've learned a lot from you over the past two and a half years and I don't regret it at all. It was time well spent.

And to those who have been backing me and supporting me all this time, you have no idea what it means to me. My roommates were incredible last night and so were all the people that I was drunkenly talking to on the phone (sorry about that...) And I'm really, really sorry about all of the drunk instant messages...I probably shouldn't have done that. I think I messaged someone I don't even know which is just GREAT.

Yesterday = worst day EVER. And now I'm hung over. Let the healing process begin.

Dammit. One more parked car.

Today just needs to end.

Here we go again.

(pictures later)

I think you really need to have been in and out of a serious relationship to really appreciate being single. You need to have been in and out of a relationship with a crappy significant other to appreciate the good person that comes later.

At this point, I really don't know what it is that I want. All I know is that I need to take a step back and get a good, hard look at where I am at and how I feel. What I know for sure is that the past two and a half years have been a learning experience and anything but a waste of my time. It's helped me figure out what I look for in a person, it's helped me grow up a little. I know now that 1 year is not that long and maybe even two years is not long enough to figure out what kind of couple you are.

Normally I don't get so personal on this thing...especially as of late. But this is important to me and I want you to know where I am right now.

*christy...maybe my dress is half off right now but maybe i'll just be topless for a while? it'll help ease me into being a nudist. thanks for the talk dear :)

I swear I'm moving to Utah and marrying both of them.

I got a random cramp in my calf last night. It was gross. I could feel my muscle (I didn't know I even had any) moving and bulging independently of anything I was telling it to do. Plus it hurt like a mother.

Doi bung ;P

Any insights?

this is a new sony product. I think you will like it.

link

Lee's Sandwiches is finally open :D I got to get some ca phe sua da (I don't know the accents and I'm not even going to try) this morning which makes me OMEGA happy. I love Vietnamese iced coffee.

That's for you 45cent <3

Thanks for the link Steph :D

Had a nice dinner w/ Aaron and April at Macaroni Grill. The stuffed mushrooms are omega good. Aaron did a good job ordering.

Sorry about my driving Apes I know that "I can't seeeeee!" is the last thing you want to hear from the driver but man is that rain a bitch or is that rain a bitch?

The sun is out this morning :) Here's hoping.

Looking forward to seeing Steph :D

And now that I think about it, where the hell did he get his boarding clothes? Hrm. Or the money to even go. That foo doesn't work.

Brady: It's good to drink a lot of water when you start to feel sick. I remember once I was feeling really queasy so I drank like this [insert hand gesture here] from the tap in the bathroom for about five minutes and then I threw up like bleeehhhhh [insert throwing-up motions here].

Kris: Um, and what was the good part?

Crazy Berkeley kids. We should go visit him this weekend I just bought him a bunch of mixers (with his $$$) and he offered to make cocktails :D

Thanks for the coffee April dear I feel good this morning :)

*so i was an idiot and used right angle brackets instead of square ones. whatev.

Vegas-ing for Maria's 22nd (so sorry I had to leave early!), Oseibo on Sunday where we exchanged gifts, I chased someone annoying around with a camera because I had to, and got to see Leanne do the robot on stage with her kids, some last-minute features added to the MGB plus dinner with some gangstas and babes (Cambridge English!) followed by a presentation that was made by the self-appointed "king" of our new fused group (i is ninja), outlet shopping with the bf (I can't believe he can hang with me), dance lessons and xmas-treeing and TGIFriday's with Ra and Steph (I think I hurt myself), insane xmas shopping and then dinner provided by lil Skim (thanks!) and THEN my first taste of flavored soju which is one helluva lot better than sake, xmas eve from Irvine to Santa Ana to Buena Park (dinner with the family) to Rowland Heights to celebrate HoHo's 22nd (yes she is old) and then to April's with Steph for some cookies and talk (thanks for having us over!).

And then...

Saw Closer with two lovely girls then went for tea/boba twice before going to Aaron's to play foosball where we learned that April has a gambling problem and we all had to pay for it dearly, went to SD for some real gambling where I frittered away $90 which in retrospect isn't really all that much, came back only to head out to Best Buy to pick up my SATC season 6 which I brought back to my house so we could watch it straight through (Red Vines, chocolate and tea), went to Saddle Ranch w/ Steph for...Brian's brother's friend's birthday or something or other...? Well we went and by the time we got there almost everyone was already inebriated and I stayed fantastically sober for once, went to bf's the following day to chill, went to K-town the night after (after the mind-numbing meeting for the centennial history book) for dinner, drinks, karaoke, dancing and Carrow's, spent new year's eve sober at Nishi, at the bf's, and at a house party where Steve (unbeknownst to him) was photographed passed out on the couch many many times, spent new year's at Nishi and at home doing family stuff (I'm Japanese it comes with the territory) and then in Pasadena (thanks Brian although you really really didn't have to) and then at Steve's and then at D&B's where I lost the sugar game and washed my loss down with a Stella (thanks Aaron) which I drank too fast, shopped and chilled the following night with Steph before going to Aaron's where I had a couple beers and sucked at foosball (no more betting) and watched SATC and Eternal Sunshine and then headed out to Carrow's with Skim, April and Steph for appetizers and talk, took Steph to Irvine with me the following day and felt terrible because I forgot I had to work that day but yes it all turned out okay because Aaron rescued her and by the time I got back they were having a grand old time with Ciara, had dinner then came back to the apt to Taboo, dance, drink and some other stuff (Ray molested my elbows but I think I started it) and got an omega cool necklace from Maria Tortilla, hung out and chilled the following day before Steph headed home (too sad).

And then school started.

So that was my winter break. I'm amazed that I remember what I did from day to day (well actually...okay well yeah) but it was all good. I lost my card reader again so it may be a while before you see photos. But yes, thanks guys. It was omega good.

April dear, breakups are hard. I drank excessively because I love you *muah*

Aaron, I think we're one for one. Here's hoping neither of us gets that sick again. And to Aaron and Steve sorry you had to listen to my crazy talk and I'm glad you got a kick out of my pigtail/toilet/pillow situation.

Hangover is almost gone now. Will not be drinking any amount of alcohol for a while...until our trip up north in about a week...? Plans have not been finalised (heh) yet but I hope we can make it :)

Okay so I feel OMEGA nerdy for having so many pictures from a project class of all things but my team members were so awesome that I couldn't help it. Believe it or not, but there are zillions more photos (and videos) that I didn't post.

The Freezer (a.k.a. Qlub Zed)

Actually, this would be the 125 lab. Yeah all the rest of you were in there 24/7 as soon as we started with the implementations, but we'd been there since the requirements doc. Word to your mom.

Oh, one more thing. The whiteboard drawings of Franklin, Taylor, and Henry were done by Justin. He is too good.

BJs

This was right before Veteran's Day or something. At first only two of the Babes came, but then Brian (blue-eyed breezy!) came in after his bball game. Weeheee

TGIF

After finalizing (or finalising as Nikhil would write it) our application we went out to celebrate with dinner and lots of drinks at TGIFriday's. Hoa dropped her wallet somewhere while we were there, but it was mailed back to her a few days later which was damn amazing. Good times for all of us :)

Presentation

Yes, we actually did work this quarter. Yes, we actually had something to present. A+ for 45cent :D

End of Finals Week

Had one last get-together at the end of finals week, the last weekend Nik would be there before leaving for Japan and New Zealand :( Went to Olive Garden and then headed over to Skeetersen's and Bryan's omegapimp condo for some crazy times. Can you believe that they have a DDR machine in their place? WTF mate?

Oh, and here's a great video from that night that I got from the lefty. So the omegapimps have a pool table as well as a DDR machine. Now I really really suck at DDR (too many large motor skills involved perhaps?) so even though I suck at pool I decided to do that instead of humiliate myself on the DDR machine. I actually started to do a little better with the whole pool thing after I started drinking (they actually thought I was hustling them at the beginning), but after the third rum and coke my pool skills were rapidly declining, which is why Lam had to level my cue for me. Now just watch the video and keep an eye on the cue ball ;P

Pool.AVI [5.1 MB avi file]

And that's my little tribute to the group that worked on the mitochondrial genome browser (MGB) last quarter :) Too many trips out to eat and out to the pub. I had fun guys :D