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The fellow who wrote this really is bitter--and yes I did read the criticisms. Sure, there are some people who fit this stupid theory, but not all. Seriously.
It took me about 30 minutes to find a large enough space for my little Civic after coming home from work and getting food. Let me tell you here and now that I'm a horrible parallel parker, and today was a prime example of that. Even worse, there was some guy who was standing there waiting for I don't know what, and was probably laughing at me because it took me about fifty years (real time: about ten minutes) to get into a fairly spacious spot.
I need to shower. And shave.
I'm hairier than the bf. Or at least I would be if I never shaved. Not that I'm Bigfoot or anything with a mane growing from all of my 2000 parts, he's just really, really hairless. I don't mind. His arms are nice and smooth, so I can have my face near them without getting my faced ticked by long arm hairs.
One thing that really bugs me is hairy chests. Maybe I was just traumatized when I saw the bush bursting out of the collar of my freshman Spanish teacher's shirt. Oh, and that one scene from What Lies Beneath really bothered me. You know, at the beginning of the movie where Michelle Pfeiffer is playing with her hubby's chest hair? Yech.
I really need to shower. I'll be back later...
Almost checked my grades but decided that I'm not going to look until next quarter. The one that I was really worried about was ICS52 and I already know what I got in that class (=() since grades were sent out via email. I know I passed but I'm just not sure what grades I passed with (calculus, that is) and I have the feeling that finding out at this point will be very disheartening (I think I royally screwed myself on the final).
I had tons of fun with Leah and Sunflower last night. The club curse lives on!! Anyhow, we chilled at the apartment and got a little psycho, running around and acting strange until the sun started coming up. I think I must have fallen asleep around six. We woke up at 10:30 the next (well, same) morning and went to IHOP for brunch before I headed over to work. Thanks for a great time guys =)
My schedule next quarter looks pretty nasty. After looking at my list of courses in horror, I made a printout of my course schedule and after adding in my work and tutorials for my classes, highlighted what classes I can't skip--ever. Urgh. Spring quarter is going to be hell. I need some serious motivation. Perhaps the ugly outcome of winter quarter? *cringe*
At work right now. Kind of sleepy. Going to see the bf tonight after I finish cleaning up the apartment. Haven't been able to actually spend time with him since Sunday.
Frick I'm sleepy.
Finally gave my car a (semi) good washing.
Being my car is a pretty thankless job. It gets the automobile equivalent of regular feedings of the cheapest food around and a stick of internal deodorant. I don't even wash the windows regularly anymore. I used to squeege them whenever I filled up, but lately I've been too busy watching the number for the cost of my fillup increasing over twice as fast as the number of gallons in horror. But yes, I washed the accumulation of tree sap, grime, and bird pucky off of the thing today. Or at least I think I did. It was kind of dark.
Was amused to find a fan of the Aquabats while randomly clicking around. My junior year Spanish teacher used to have an Aquabats poster up on his bulletin board. Evidently, his son (Crash McLarson?) is a member. Someone once asked "Do you like his music?" which my teacher answered with silence and a downward look. Haha.
I went with Sar and Damy to see the symphonic band at my old high school at their festival yesterday. They played Second Suite in F by Holst (*envy*) and Scaramoush by who knows who. They got superiors (naturally). I saw Flute Girl there. She is quite an excellent flute player. She plans on continuing music in college =) Good for her.
After we watched them we went to Sar's place to finish up our grub from The Hat and afterwards headed over to the Asian ghetto best known as Monterey Park to go get some crepes at Crepe in the Grip. I have some interesting photos of the bathroom door that I'll post later.
I swear, there were so many azns at that place I was going nuts. There was this one stocky long-banged guy who seemed to be trying to impress this long haired azn girl. *eeerrrghhhh* We stepped outside as soon as we got our crepes. I was starting to feel stifled.
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's Somewhere Over The Rainbow is such a soothing song. I first heard it in XL's car, and again after watching Finding Forrester with the bf. It reminds me of a Hawaii night. Particularly that one night junior year when a bunch of us went to this restaurant at some hotel and there were musicians there. We had a lot of fun despite the fact that we were with chaperones. The bread was purple and the weather was nice. It would be great to go back with the OV Trio and my sober buddy.
I need to shave my legs.
Had a fun evening out with Leah last night, first trying (unsuccessfully) to find a Nordstroms on the westside then chillin' like villains at Santa Monica. On our way from Century City I encountered a yellow but I wasn't sure how long it had been yellow so I braked really hard and Leah lurched forward, pushing the gearshift into neutral so the car made a *skreeee* sound. The other retarded thing I did was when we left the Centruy City Plaza parking structure. There was a machine by the booth that was saying "Please insert your ticket" over and over and over, but I somehow managed not to hear it and drove up to the booth instead, so the man in the booth had to get out of the booth and insert the ticket into the machine for me. Leah was cool with it though because that's just the way he is ;).
After Starbucks closed we took a cruise down the 10 and ended up in West Covina, where I turned around and went back to our hood where we went to a Jack in the Box and stayed there until three. Spent three hours talking and drawing stupid things on my windshield (name censored for a good reason =X).
I'm going to work on the boobie thing now =)
I watched the tail end of the Oscars yesterday and good lordage. That Bowling for Columbine guy really got on his high horse. I was gratified to hear the boos. As for the others, well, those dove and peace pins? In all honesty I think some representation of the American flag would have been more appropriate. All of their protests aren't going to do a damn thing because face it, all those political-types in DC (and it's not just Bush) probably understand the workings of war and politics better than all of these rich Hollywood celebrities and such. At this point, I think it would be best to draw together and support the country in its endeavors. I'm not quite sure why the protestors are protesting in the first place. Bah. Saddam is one evil cookie.
On another note, my life is in shambles. I finished this awful quarter with a big bang when I royally screwed myself on my finals, all my stuff is a mess, and I don't have enough money for absolutely nuttin' =P FUBAR! Time for some spring cleaning so I can have a clean spring quarter. *sigh*
An explanation for the mango boobies will come as soon as I remember to bring my USB cable home.
So glad finals are over. Unfortunately I have to work tomorrow.
This quarter has felt strangely draining. I'm just really glad to be home right now.
Last night I was holding an apple slice in my mouth because my hands were full which caused me to (unintentionally) drool on my foot.
I have yet to tell the story of Sunday's happenings.
I will. Eventually.
Took this from Styna...
[Wallet]: A Nine West one that looks like Apes'. We somehow always end up with very similar stuff.
[Jewelry worn daily]: Used to be my gold necklace, but now it's the watch that the bf gave me for Christmas. I need a silver necklace.
[Pillow cover]: White and off white.
[Shoes]: The converse ones that everyone seems to have. Mine are white and silver.
[Favorite top]: My gray Express tank top with all the support. I don't need to wear a bra with it.
[Favorite pants]: My pj pants and my gray bummy pants cause' they're so comfortable.
[Cologne/Perfume]: Pink by Gap
[CD in stereo right now]: I have a burned CD with Star98.7-type music on it in my car.
[Piercings]: Just my ears.
[Hair]: Kind of layered, but it's gotten too long to tell.
[What you are wearing now]: Red shirt and pj pants.
[In my mouth]: A&W cream soda. I like cream soda. So sue me.
[In my head]: A headache. Sinus headache.
[After this]: I'm going to shower and go to bed. I really should work on my essays though.
[Talking to]: Just mister DJ over aim. Roommates are all asleep.
[Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months]: Next few days...? Dim sum w/ two of my girls, dinner with my favorite couple, and SPRING BREAK of course (Leah will be back!) and getting the new apartment.
[The last thing you ate?]: Katsu curry at Tenko.
[Some of your favorite movies]: Mr. Hollands Opus, Lion King, Chicago was cool ;) AntiTrust and Office Space were thumbs up.
[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: Failure
[Do you like incense]: Nishi incense is oddly comforting
[Do you believe in love]: Yep
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: Not really.
[Do you believe in forgiveness]: Yep
[What are 3 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to?]: They'd all have to be in S. California....or Hawaii =X
[What are some of your favorite pig out foods?]: Recently...? Potato chips and sour cream YERMMY YERMMY! Maybe I'll eat some right now =)
[Thing you wish you could understand better?]: the way guys think... <--word
[In the last 24 hours, have you]
01. Cried: Nope
02. Bought something: Just a packet of stamps ;P
03. Gotten sick: I think I might be sick right now...not pukey sick though
04. Sang: Yes
05. Eaten: Tenko
06. Been kissed: Yep =)
07. Felt stupid: Always ;P
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't: Nope
09. Met someone new: Nope
10. Moved on: Not really
11. Talked to an ex: Nope
12. Missed an ex: Nope
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on: I suppose so if you consider the bf a (serious) crush.
14. Had a serious talk: I don't think so...?
15. Missed someone: Yup
16. Hugged someone: Yes
17.Fought with your parents: No
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: Nope
01. Best guy friend: Leah comes to mind.
02. Best girl friend: My sober buddy, the roomie, KSH, Nishi girls
03. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: The bf
04. If no, current dating partner: Okay.
05. Pager: Cell phone.
06. Are you center of attention or the wallflower: Psychotic wallflower.
07. What type automobile do you wish you drove: A hybrid car.
08. Would you rather be with friends or on a date: Depends.
09. Where is the best hangout: RiteAid!
10. Do you have a job: MRC. Would you like a computer?
11. Do you attend church: Yeap (Styna you should go ;D)
12. Do you like being around people: Eh.
01. Have you known the longest: My Nishi girls. "Womb buddies" heheh...
02. Do you argue the most with: The bf, hands down.
03. Do you always get along with: Most of my friends
04. Is the trustworthiest: The brother
05. Makes you laugh the most: The brother, Leah, esp. when he's with Sunflower ;D
06. Has been there through all the hard time: Too many people
07. Has the coolest parents: Your mom
08. Has the coolest siblings: My brother. Haha just kidding. I think I have the coolest sibling.
09. Is the most blunt: I don't know...?
10. Is the smartest: The brother and maybe Dannoballs (feeker didn't even have to apply to get into UCI)
01. Who is your role model: I don't know
...okay that took forever...haha.
02. What is some of your pet peeves: Stupidity. I'm such a hypocrite.
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: I don't think so.
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: Don't remind me =\
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: Slightly quirky. I seem to prefer asians for whatever reason.
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): I can't think of anything offhand.
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: I'm very vindictive.
08. Rather be dumper or dumped: I don't know...I've never dumped anyone.
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": Relationship.
10. Want someone you don't have right now: I have someone I want.
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: Nope
12. Do you want to get married: Probably.
13. Do you want kids: As of now...I want 0-2 kids.
14. Do you believe in psychics: Juniper swears Morsel is psychic
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: Scary thought...but I think I might.
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: My fingernails. Esp. since they aren't broken right now.
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: I'm trying to figure that out right now...
18. Are you happy with you: Not sure...
19. Are you happy with your life: Not right now...but it's getting a little better
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: Something? As in one thing? I need time to think about this...
Feeling somewhat more content at this point in some aspects...
I like the feeling of knowing my friends are there...that they exist...that they are flesh and blood people. When I go into my moody spells it seems as if they're just lingering ideas and memories--ghosts of people that may or may not have existed. Now I know they're here, and not only that but I get to see a few of them on Sunday and Monday. And Leah is coming back soon. =)
There are other things that I'm pretty fed up with though--school is one of them. But there's not too much I can do now. Just study for finals. What happens happens.
And the the other thing? I don't know. I don't have time for that right now.
I have four pages to type up for ICS52. Single spaced. Error report thing. Mmm.
I've realized that fricken everyone has a fricken blog or webjournal type thing now. It's pretty crazy. After link-hopping for quite some time the other day, I realized that there's a huge number of people from my graduating class that have started one. Most seem to have sprung up within the last 12-15 months. There are some old-schoolers like Sar, but most seem pretty recent...yar. I should compile a list of people from my class who have one, ordered by the dates that they were started. Ha. Maybe when I get time.
Anyway, enough with the blather and on with the papering.
Mmm...the bf and I went to the Block yesterday night to satisfy my Krispy Kreme and Jamba cravings. He bought a dozen doughnuts (eight glazed and four of my cinnamon apple filled) and I ate three of them (*oinkoink*). Then he fed me the noodles that I like oh-so-much. Man I felt so fat after that. Thank you sweetie.
Yesterday I got back to Irvine at two so I could meet up with my prospective roommates so we could all go over to our future residence to fill out paperwork and take care of the deposit and such. We ended up just taking a look at the floor plan we wanted and leaving. Oh well.
I was drinking from a bottle earlier and when I took my mouth away from it it made a sound...you know when you blow air over the top? It reminded me of how once, when we had study hall sixth period, Sunflower, Scam and I had gone to the vending machines to get drinks and afterwards stood outside of the bandroom harmonizing with our bottles.
So much has changed in such a short period of time. Now when I think of the time when I got to see those that I miss so much today every day, I chide myself for taking all of that for granted. Would I want to go back to high school? No...I don't think so. But there were definitely some positive aspects of being in such a (relatively) small, closed environment and seeing the same people every day.
Missing you all. Really.
Leah sent me a fantabulous link about money ;D He is mos def a cool bean.
Well, tonight was just one of those nights that I'd probably miss the transition from the 405 or 605. I do that sometimes when I'm tired or distracted...
So today was our eight month anniversary. It's been a long time for both me and him. It's nothing compared to the marathon-ers like Styna or Apes, but everyone's got to start somewhere.
The weird thing is how I feel it's ending--or that it has ended--even though we're (clearly) still together. I have this strange feeling...like I'm trying to get over him even though I don't really need to. Weird.
Speaking of weird, I had a dream that I drank nearly half a bottle of white wine last night. It tasted like crap but I drank it anyway, straight from the bottle. I think I did it because it was in front of me.
I digress. Anyway, I was feeling that way even more so this evening. After I got off of work, he told me that he was going to Vietnam this summer for a month. It was an idea that he had been toying with for a while, but it didn't seem as though he was actually going to do it. In fact, right before he dropped me off at work he told me he probably wasn't going to go. Well, then he told me there was a small chance that he might go up north for the enitre summer. Three months. One of which I would lose virtually all contact with him. After I heard that I couldn't help it. I started to break down. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. All the stress and loneliness just peaked and I cried. He wasn't too happy about that but I couldn't help it. For whatever reason, the past couple of months have been really hard on me. I've been feeling nauseous and achy, and I just want to sleep all the time.
We watched Adaptation when we got back to his place. He curled up around me and went to sleep while I watched the movie. It was incredibly sad. Comical, yes, but sad. It was actually a pretty good movie, but it left me with an awful feeling. I felt lonely. I left his place right after the movie ended, feeling drained and sad. I drove home slightly distracted, thinking of all the people I missed. For some reason, I was thinking about Leah a lot towards the end of the drive home, so imagine my surprise when my phone rang and when I looked over at it, I saw Leah's name on the display. Boy was it good to hear his voice.
So here I am, cherry soda, laptop, kind of tired but feeling somewhat better.
Life goes on.
I can't figure out whether I'm hungry or sick *blerch*
Happy eight month anniversary to me. I fell asleep sorta early again last night, then the bf woke me up to play patty-cake (he does lots of weird things) but I was just too feekin' sleepy to do anything so I ended up going back to sleep.
Went to the beach yesterday after class with the bf and D, a fellow ICSer. They fished while I read and talked to Bubble Boy on the phone while he fought traffic on the 405. He was going to cook me dinner but he didn't catch anything edible. Oh well.
Finals are coming in about a week. Good feekin lordage =(
Oh my god. I had the longest freakin' post and it got deleted. Ugh. Anyway.
(K)RSH That's right! Our "h" has a page now. My Sunflower Girl (or Ho Ho) has got a blog. CHECK IT OUT.
I was reading this yesterday night and it made me kind of sad. She has been with her boyfriend for quite a while, and I guess the relationship is running it's course and losing the romance. At least on his side, it seems. Plus, he has the most horrible take on marriage. I feel what she feels--it's possible for a marriage to be happy. Granted, it's hard to find a married couple (I'm talking married for at least 15 years here) that is not only okay with their marriage, but truly happy with it (at least from my experience) but you can find some. Those are the best couples. Better than attractive couples or celebrity couples. Those old married couples (like way beyond senior citizen old) walking down the beach holding hands are just fantabulous. It's great when you can love someone for years and years, after the faults rear their ugly heads, after looks start to go. Now, folks, that is what I want.
Anyhow, I've got a ton of photos I need to upload and a buncha buncha art history I need to do. Peace out for now.
does this mean that I get to post things on your journal like sara does? ooohh...kelly knows how to flash, everyone! ask her, and she'll do it for you. she's nice that way. ;)
hooman najafabadi eghterafi. what a name what a name.
Blogger just got a NullPointerExcepition
I just wrote a post and I lost it. It was so depressing. I don't think I'm going to re-type it.
I am so frustrated.
I swore I wouldn't do this to myself again. I swore that I would make myself proud in college. That I wouldn't have to deal with the regret and self-loathing that would surely ensue after failing miserably a la high school.
I thought I knew better this time. I thought I knew what I had to do. I thought I had changed.
And now I'm feeling so bad. I worry about school. I worry about money. I worry about how much I've isolated myself from others since the beginning of the quarter. But most of all, I worry about school.
And it makes me not want to get up in the morning. It makes it difficult to get out of my car. It makes it difficult to pick up a book.
I'm just so tired.
On the upside, I found my phone.
thanks carlos :)
I can't find my cell phone. And the damn thing is on silent. Damn damn damn.
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