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AT LEAST YOU STILL HAD YOUR CORSAGE. My mom decided that having dried old flowers was weird, so she threw away all the old flowers I had ever gotten. Including my boutonnieres! Yes, I received a flower, occassionally, through that stupid Valentine's rose sale crap at Schurr... but now, ALL GONE. YAY me.
I knocked over my old dried-out corsage. I had it out so I could show my brother so he'd know what a corsage would look like. I forgot to put it back. Now I have flower-bits all over the carpet. Dammit
Why does it feel weird to be comparing funerals by religion? Is it just me?
Anyway, since I'm weighing in on the topic...Catholic funerals, compared with Buddhist funerals, are pretty similar. What there is:
1. Lots of prayer
2. Celebration of life
What else is there? Okay, so I'm leaving out the major details, but of what importance are details? All we need to talk about is the memory of the person. Isn't that the point of a funeral?
Regarding the college stuff:
I got the pink envelope thing too, if i remember correctly. Besides, they don't reject this early, unless you're totally unqualified, which I highly doubt.
Also, congratulations to Sara for being accepted. Here's to the hope of another fellow Schurr High alum to be attending...
I've never been to a funeral. I could probably guess how a Christian funeral ceremony goes, since i see them in movies. I don't know how accurate those are, but i guess i got the main idea.
A Buddhist funeral ceremony on the other hand, i don't have a real clear picture. I've done a small paper on it for my Anthropology class and for the chinese ceremony, there are a lot of rituals and the ceremony lasts for days. I also confirmed these rituals with my mom, as she went to China last year to be by her mother before she passed on. If you want to read up on the rituals, here's a link www.buddhanet.net/reflect.htm.
I try not to think about these things too much. It's just that i can not imagine my life without my mom and dad not being here, but still i feel it's important to know these things so when the time does come... i'll know what to do.
Yet another funeral to attend...the fourth one in the past twelve months. I didn't know the person who died, but I knew part of his family. Close family friends. Only right that I go.
My dad was talking to a friend of mine--one of the grandchildren--just last Sunday. My friend was okay with the idea of his death, and saw it as maybe the best thing considering the circumstances. Should he come out of his coma, he would be an invalid. According to him, his grandfather was very hardheaded and valued his independence. He had once "slugged a doctor" who had come into his hospital room to see how he was doing.
I've never been to a Christian funeral before. They've all been Buddhist. Japanese Buddhist. This man was Chinese. Different faiths have different views on death. I wonder...
Okay, you know how Sar got her acceptance letter relatively early? Yeah, she told me it was a really big envelope. Well, on the same day I found out that she was accepted, I came home to a really small envelope from the same school. Truthfully, I don't expect to be accepted, but a rejection letter this early would totally crush me.
It wasn't a rejection letter. It was a nice letter with a form for me to fill out and a nice pink envelope to send it back in.
I feel like singing right now. Apes once said "Kelly, you're always singing something." True to some extent. But I can't sing now, I'd wake everyone up. I have to settle for listening to music.
;I'm listening to Oochie Wally right now. Okay, I know Damy hates that song, I think that a lot of people hate that song. Why do I like it? Not because of the lyrics, that's for sure. They're disgusting. Even the radio edit is pretty vulgar. It's everything but the vocals. Have you ever heard LMNO's "Radiant"? Same thing. I like the instrumentation (is "instrumentation the correct term?) Can make all the difference sometimes.
I should make a list of music. Later, when I have a little more time.
"Wow, you guys still kick-it together? That's tight." tends to be the normal reaction from friends when it comes to me and my friends. It's like it's such a rare sight to see people (especially when there's five of us) still hang out together as much as we do. It's actally rare when me, john, sunny, pook, and elg DON'T hang out together at least once during the week... and that's only cuz of girlfriends, work, or midterms. I guess it's cuz we all go to school really close by, or it might be the fact that we can't seem to make new friends in college =P
But there are still those that we don't see too often. It's kinda sad actually. You start to miss them. I have a few that actually went to UCI with me, but we rarely see or talk to each other and when we do, it's cuz we just happened to enroll in the same class. Well... i guess that's what high-school reunions are for, right?
You know what, from my personal experience, "real" friends will always find a way to keep in touch. Not that I'm trying to say that your group aren't all close. I wouldn't know. However, you're pretty much right about the "whole group" being able to come together. But still, I believe that if you guys really want to do it, you can. Like holidays, I guess, where everyone is back in town, etc.
Friendships in college definitely aren't the same. You get to know many people in passing, but it's really hard to get close to new people. Yes, there are plenty of people who find great new friends in college, but from my personal experience, it definitely isn't anywhere near the same as the relationship I have with my closest friends from high school or before.
I disagree with the people who are on your case for missing out on senior year dances. I don't see the big deal. It's a choice, right? More important than those 'socials' is the complete high school experience you are having. Enjoy it. Enjoy the company of your friends. Enjoy your classes. Enjoy the experience, because in the end, the high school days will be the most memorable...
I was standing next to Leah. He looked thoughtful for a second, and then he said
You know what...this is the first time we've all gone out together.
It was true. This was the first time our little "clique" (I can't think of another word to describe it) had all gone out together on our own accord. I was wondering whether it would be our last.
We're all going to be going our separate ways come fall. There are a lot of people that manage to stay in touch with their high school friends, but then again some don't. I've been told countless times that friendships in college aren't the same as those in high school. That is one thing I know I'm going to miss.
Everyone--even freshmen--are on my back for not going to all of my senior year dances and all that other stuff, but those things aren't really important. Not to me.
I can just hope that Sar will decide to attend USC so I will have at least one friend who is nearby (congratulations Sar--I knew you were going to get in!)
Happy Birthday Oishirichan (for the third time) and congratulations Sar. I'm so proud of you. To all the rest of you who don't know what I'm talking about, Sar may be a future "spoiled child" (her words not mine). If you can't figure out what I'm talking about...I'll tell you later.
I should have given a little more background when I wrote my "stereotypical asian" blog (2/20/01)
There are a lot of new members in our youth group, in all the chapters in Southern California/Arizona. There are a lot in our chapter. Us "older" ones affectionately dubbed them "teenyboppers and thuggy people". When I say affectionately, I really mean it. My own brother is one of those new members, and anyone who knows me knows that I love him to death.
I digress...well, these new members are only some of the many in the organization who look, talk, and act the same way. Granted, there are some people who really stand out, but in general, everyone is starting to look alike. If given a cursory glance, the majority of the males could be placed in the "thug" category, which is why I assumed he meant "stereotypical asian thug". Maybe I'm just jaded (or something...) but I'm not the only one who feels this way. I may have a point...to a point...if that makes any sense.
In case you were wondering what inspired my blog about being clean (2/5/01), that would be the same seminar that I was referring to in my stereotypical asian post.
Speaking of digital camera, I think I'm going to go get myself one. Why not, with all this depressing schoolwork, you've gotta cheer yourself up with a present, right? RIGHT. Okay.
I have to weigh in on the 'typical asian' post from a few days back. I don't think 'typical asian' necessarily means 'thug.' And making that association just helps THAT particular stereotype. For all intents and purposes, 'typical asian' could also mean 'nerd' or 'cool guy' or whatever. so. yeah.
Forget having someone wrap the gift for me. I do a good job. If I had a digital camera I would take a picture of my thumbs-up wrapping job. You'd be jealous. You'd pay me lots of $$$ to get me to wrap for you. I'd run you broke. And you would let me.
Dammit Oishiri I have to go wrap your gift. Oh, happy birthday, now that it's actually the 22nd now. I need someone to wrap gifts for me. Ack.
I hate waking up in the morning. The school year just keeps dragging on and on, it doesn’t seem to be getting any closer to the end. Maybe when I actually get to graduation I’ll regret rushing the year, but it seems to me that the further the year progresses, the faster I want it to go.
Happy birthday Oishirichan, just in case I don’t get around to posting tomorrow. Oishiri shares a birthday with a very special someone….("special" heheh)
-->"Stereotype- beliefs about personal attributes of the members of a particular social category. A set of cognitives that specify personal qualities, especially personality traits, of members of an ethnic group. An exaggerated belief associated with a category." (notes from Race&Ethnicity)
So if you assumed he meant thug, and was able to size him up, then you do have a definition of a stereotypical asian... well.. at least of a "thug". It's ok.. i do too. I go to UCI.. i see em. And i often associate them with fixed up cars (as most of them drive em), thus making them "Racers" =P I think i've been reading my notes too much. See how much crap you can pull out of your @$$ when you take classes like Race&Ethnicity?? Time to freak out.. gonna try your osmosis approach..
Wish me luck...gnite!
February 3, 2001-Saturday
We were in Oxnard for a seminar. Morsel and I were talking to Mari and her friend J/D. Mari had to leave for a delegates meeting, so we stayed there and talked to J/D. He asked me whether I had met anyone interesting at the seminar. Any interesting guys, to be more specific.
Well no, not really. They all start looking the same after a while. Like...
I agreed with him, not even thinking about what a stereotypical asian really was, or what I thought a stereotypical asian was. While I sat there trying to figure out what I had just said, he asked me another question...
Like stereotypical asians, huh
Am I a stereotypical asian?
Great, I don't even know what a stereotypical asian is. I sat. Sat and stared for a minute. I assumed he meant a stereotypical asian thug, so I sized him up quickly and told him no, he wasn't a stereotypical asian (thug). Not just because I knew that that was what he wanted to hear, but because I really meant it. And I still don't know why.
So what is the definition for this stereotypical asian? I don't have one. Stereotypes suck, even worse when you can't even figure out what they are. When it's one of those "I know one when I see one" situations. That's not even stereotyping. That's being judgmental. And I'm guilty of it. This isn't the first time I've admitted to that, look at my post on January 14.
Dang, I suck.
I feel happy dammit.
Why I feel so darn-ded happy is beyond me. I'm tired, I don't understand half of my homework, and I still need to buy Angela's Ashes for freakin government. But still...
And now I get to go to bed. It's not even midnight. Life is good.
Before I forget...check out Sar's journal and Damy's blog to see two very different views on VDAY.
Hmmm..i guess i am blind.. cuz i didn't even notice the welcome by Irv. Haha..thanks a lot! Happy to finally be here on the message board to share my thoughts on certain topics... You kno.. we really do live in a small world. I dunno how well you remember me from schurr, but however.. i do kno Grace Ching, which was brought to my attention that you two are friends. What was that name they gave this kinda thing? Something like the Circle of friends or something..kinda where every 3rd person knows someone you kno.... i dunno i forget the name. In anycase... yah. =P
Happy Valentine's Day Kel... you might enjoy my "bitter" rantings about how Valentines is overrated over on my site. hehe..
"Image of maturity" is probably a better way to describe it. Allow me to go in depth...
I once talked to this guy who had no sense of humor. He seemed to think that associating with smokers and knowing about gangs was impressive. I thought that he was incredibly boring. He probably thought I was insane or something. It didn't work out, obviously.
I do realize that I post everything at the risk of being called "bitter". I've been called bitter, but I don't think I am. A little pessimistic maybe (well, more than a little). Let's just say that I haven't had any really positive experiences. I'm to blame for that, in part. I tend to pick faults. Then again, there have always been a lot of faults to pick. Do you see where I'm going with this?
Oh well, I don't want to get myself into anything anyway. I've pretty much figured out what I don't want. What I really need to do is figure out what I want.
Happy Valentines Day
GOSH... what's with all this introspection and all that stuff lately?
NEO seriously needs to think harder about not having love in his life anymore. I mean, come on. Without it, you shut out a whole large portion of it. Romantic love isn't the only thing. What about love for family, friends, or even pets? Am I making sense? I hope so, because I am REALLY tired.
Kelly: I know what you mean about those topics, and I agree. However, I don't see where you would be able to confuse "image" and "maturity."
image - The character projected to the public, as by a person or institution, especially as interpreted by the mass media.
maturity - to bring or come to full development or maximum excellence
If that helps at all... Unless you meant that having the 'image of maturity' was different from actually maturity, in which case, it makes sense.
By the way, I'd like to give a warm welcome to Damon, who has recently started posting here as well. This is becoming the "Midori Network." =)
Valentines day is coming up. I decided that it would be a good time to make a list of the different ways guys have pissed me off.
Image Stop trying to look tough. It's not impressive. I mean, it's entertaining. You make me laugh. But I'm not laughing with you.
Maturity Okay, there is a difference between having an "image" and being mature. Come talk to me when you've figured out what it is.
Honesty Don't lie. I'll find out. I won't be happy.
That's it for now. I'll think of more later.
Yet another interesting journal entry byNeo
Haha! "Starving Porsche owner".... 911 Turbo... *drool* That game was fair... traditionally it's "3 strikes and you're out" , but since i'm such a nice guy, i gave you 4 chances and you still lost. I'd say that's more than fair. hehe
There is this one guy that I just can't stand!!! I have him for orchestra. Just my luck to have him in my section. He's really annoying, cocky, and doesn't know how to shut up. Yesterday he was complaining about how he couldn't afford any of the food at Disneyland. And there he was sitting there with a Muramatsu flute in his lap and we all know how expensive those are. It's like that whole starving Porche owner scenario. Don't get too much sympathy there.
Today I went to this New Years social gathering thing for my koto group. Awaya Kai conservatory or whatever it is. It was weird, it was at the same Holiday Inn that conference was held at a couple years ago. It was on the same floor and everything. Just walking into the hotel lobby brought back this whole flood of memories. There was the stairway that we went down when we saw the elevators were too crowded, the bathroom that had been covered in feathers from the boas that some of the girls had worn, the hidden corner that Juniper wouldn't leave, all those places where we took pictures. When I got into the room where the party was being held, I looked at the glasses and wondered whether Mark had drunk from any of them (he drank from at least ten random glasses the night of the dance), I wondered whether any of the waiters were the same ones that had served us two years ago. To top it off, one of the guys who was at my table was my group leader from conference 99. Yeah, I know that this sounds completely pointless, but it's amazing what I can remember by just revisiting a place.
Neo has been very introsepctive lately...
hehe...ok.. i guess i can rant and rave about my misfortunes at school here now! =P Well.. if you haven't already read the post on my site , I HATE MANAGERIAL ACCOUNTING!!!!! Thanks Kel, for letting me get that out, hehehe
This past Sunday I had garden cleanup for church. So anyway, we were right outside the gates sweeping the sidewalk (me, Mogy, and Morsel) and this scruffy looking guy comes up to us and says
Hey, do you understand english??
GUY: Oh ok, well, I just got out of jail down there (points in the direction of the jail) and I need a dollar seventy-five to take the train (or whatever it was) out of here. I just got out of prison and I don't have no money or nothing...
MORSEL: I don't have any money with me.
(Mogy and I shake our heads)
GUY: Oh...thanks (and he walks off)
HOW ANNOYING. I just wrote a really long blog. And it's gone. Oh well. Here's the gist:
I'm clean. I've only really drank once, and I already told you what happened. I'm not planning to drink again for a very long time.
For most people, the drinking/smoking/drug thing is just a phase. But you know what happens if they don't stop...
How many of you people out there are clean? Be honest now.
I am clean. I am incredibly uptight. You can probably see my halo glowing from where you are sitting right now.
I'm just boring like that.
Really though, I feel like I'm surrounded by drinkers, smokers, and drug addicts. It's a little disturbing. I mean, is it just a phase, or does it continue on into adulthood?
Saw Gone With the Wind on Wednesday as an extra credit thing for English. Some people just don't get it...
H: What's going to happen?
SA: Do you really want to know?
Me: If we tell you what happens we're going to tell you the whole ending...
H: Tell me what's going to happen next!
SA: *hums wedding march*
H: They get married!!! This is a good movie!
Me: Yeah and then he leaves her.
H: He leaves her?! That butthead! This is NOT a good movie.
SA: He's supposed to leave her.
H: What a butt!
SA: Well she's a butt too! That's what the movie is all about! Two butts getting together!
After the movie...
T: Awwww...! He left her that sucks!
ST: She deserved it! She was a brat! All she cared about was money.
SA: Exactly, she was a brat. He was supposed to leave her.
T: But he left her!
SA: Come on, she was a brat!
Me: That was the best ending that could have been written. She got what she deserved. She was just using him.
T: But...still! That sucks!
Oh the irony of it all...
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