Hung out with K for most of yesterday. Went to see a movie then went to see XL (=)) at her apartment. We watched Don't Say A Word (something I had wanted to see when it first came out but never got around to). K thought it was quite strange that I found some parts of the movie funny, but I dunno because XL was laughing too. It's just a habit. I recall that when Leah, Sunflower, Sar and I went to go see Captain Corelli's Mandolin Leah, Sunflower and I were cracking up at the beginning (although I can't remember why) and couldn't stop. It's all Leah's fault. It's always his fault.

You know, it just dawned on me that Yale Guy is the only guy I know that can unflinchingly say whether a guy is attractive or not. Most guys say "I don't know I don't look at guys!"

Freaks.

DMan: (referring to the first time I talked to him fall quarter) You weren't fat back then, were you?

DMan came up to come see me and Apes today =) It was quite the awesome night. Haven't seen the DMan in a couple of weeks. Went to Old Town Pasadena and ate and chilled, embarassed Apes by being loud and obnoxious, checked out DMan's old house and school, dropped by Sar's house (she wasn't there) then met up with her later at Starbucks where DMan was going to pretend to be a stranger hitting on her but was foiled because Sar recognized him, went back to Apes house and chillaxed like mofos. I kinda wished that Sar had gone to my car so she could see her flowers in it (hehe...I told you it was in a silver car with doors...)

I'm really pretty tired right now. Gah.

I went to the grocery store to buy a couple bags of empty calories to bribe the kiddies with and then went to Starbucks afterward for a hit of caffeine. I was a little in a rush so I just walked over to my car and used the remote entry to unlock the car. I started pulling on the handle of the car and it wouldn't open so I was like what the hell... so I locked it and unlocked it and it wouldn't open so I was like "frick!" and then I finally really looked at the car and realized that I was pulling on the door handle to the wrong silver car. My car was behind me. The car I was trying to get into was an Accord or something. The best thing was that there was this guy waiting in a truck on the other side of the Accord who was watching me try to get into the wrong car, and he must have thought I was the biggest moron because every time I pressed the lock or unlock button the lights on my car would flash behind me and I'm pretty sure he saw the lights flashing so he must have known that the car I was trying to get into was the wrong one. I was so embarassed that I just walked away.

I'm just feekin' lucky that the Accord didn't have an alarm *whew*

Yale Guy and Cal Girl walk into my room at 4:05

Cal Girl: (looking at my still-full classroom) You're still in session?

Me: No. I dismissed them five minutes ago but they're still here.

D: That's because we love you too much and we don't want to leave.

Me: E, since you wanted to do the word exotic so badly why don't you come up and show us how you'd do it?

E: (shifting uncomfortably in his seat) Uhh...I'd just draw...that. (points to a print of a painting with nude people that is hanging high up on one of the walls)

D: You know, exotic doesn't just mean naked people.

Me: It does for people with one-track minds.

I think it's good that I have something productive to do with my time. Right.

I went to the dentist today. No cavities =D But I have to go to an oral surgeon for a consultation regarding my wisdom teeth. Sounds like fun =\

K called me right when I finished my X-rays and had gone back into the waiting room. He told me that if he were my student, he wouldn't listen to me because I look like one of them. Thanks for the support K.

I've been so effin sleepy lately. I don't know what's wrong with me, but as soon as I have dinner I just want to go to bed, but I don't sleep because then I'd wake up at like freakin 10 or 11 and not be able to sleep until much later. So I stay up. And then later I can't sleep even though I didn't nap. Grr...

Caramel macchiato craving. Arr.

SD girl and I went to get fingerprinted. I wound up late to my appointment because I was going the wrong way down Imperial Highway and thank feekin god SD girl's appointment was after mine so I didn't make her late too.

I realized this afternoon that I sorta bruised my face. Well no. There's no mark so I guess it's just a little tender. I hit my face on K's car when I was reaching in to get my purse or something, but I do that like every other day so I didn't give it much thought but I guess I hit it harder than I normally do because it hurts a little now. Not as much as it did that time I ran into the wall though. That kinda sucked.

You know when I start typing one of these blog things I can't stop or I'll forget what I'm supposed to write and then I don't feel like doing it anymore. Grrr. That's why I'm cutting this one short.

I am happy to be working again. It's been too long.

I'm out like I'm out.

Time will tell. I still have three/four/ten years to go. If you notice me becoming more and more shallow and/or snotty please slap me.

T and DMan: Thanks for caring. I'm sorry for being such a stubborn ass, but sometimes I really can't help it. Especially when it's late.

Don't ask. I really don't know.

Oh yeah he kicked some major arse on the SATs. 1530 baby!

Doesn't that frighten you?

Quite frankly I don't care I wasn't all that close to any of the people in that class but yeah, congrats anyway. We got there late but we didn't miss much, and if you must know the truth it was a lot more fun after graduation at Starbucks and the gas station. Oh how lame do I sound.

Saw Me Too among other people. Turns out she didn't know the whereabouts of You after LACHSA either, so I told her about the whole deal with Dirty D and DJ and how they went to school with her and such.

But I digress.

My brother is now trying to bore me to death. It is quite easy to tune him out.

The Brother: (drawing out the Toyota logo) This is the Toyota logo right?

Me: No. It's a Previa logo.

The Brother: Really? No wait....really?

Me: Yeah seriously, didn't you know? Look at any Previa and you'll see it!

The Brother: Well I didn't knoooooww.....

What was that last book called? Harry Potter and the Chamber Pot or something?

That's a toilet

I thought that sounded kind of funny...

Kelly's laughing at you.

I think I ran a red light today. I hate all this road construction! =(

I feel like watching a DVD but I don't know what we have.

I'm feeling as if I'm in a bit of a slump right now. This whole time-in-a-blur thing just isn't working for me. That plus I feel like sleeping all the time. Damn me.

My old high school is having its graduation tomorrow. I'm wondering whether I should go or not. I wasn't particularly close to anyone in the graduating class this year.

Which reminds me I've got to go do something with Morsel and Juniper's grad gifts (i.e. wrap them).

*sigh*

And now I'm hungry.

Peace out.

So anyway, I just got a call from SD Girl so I'm going to give her a ride to the district office so we can fill out some paperwork and make appointments and such for TB tests and fingerprinting because, now that we're eighteen, we are now very capable of molesting the kiddies (most of which are bigger and much older-looking than I am).

So yes, anyway, time is a little hazy for me. I'm having difficulty keeping track of what I did on which day. In fact, what is today?

I'm eating chow fun from JJ's. The noodles didn't hold up too well.

LeahcimaR (1:42 AM): goes the lion girl ....

midori (1:42 AM): grrr

LeahcimaR (1:43 AM): look at the lion girl say her natural language to the other lion people....

LeahcimaR (1:44 AM): as we watch her in her natural habitat ... we see the behavior of the lion girl

LeahcimaR (1:44 AM): stay tuned and be sure to watch natural discovery next week to see what lion girl says next, stay tuned....

If anybody wants to meet up or something let me know I don't have a whole lot to do over the summer. Sort of.

Okay time for bed yo. Peace out por vida.

I didn't think so. So anyway I met w/ Sar yesterday afternoon. We spent a little time in front of the Mac, a lot of time at the mall, some time getting coffee, and some time at the park. I got to play on the swings again =D Second time in less than a week. Anyhow we had a good chat.

Happy Father's Day

I'll write some more later perhaps. I feel rather lazy.

I need to clean my room yo. Like crazy. All my dorm stuff won't fit =\

And now it is time to watch Harry Potter w/ the Brother =)

Don't you wish you were there.

Thanks to Apes for being the absolute best roommate in the world to Suite 203 for accomodating me at odd hours and letting me use their study area when my own was otherwise occupied =\ to DMan for staying up waaay too late when he didn't have to to DMan and Anorexic D for telling me I'm 50-100 lbs overweight (thanks guys) to P and Dirty D for generously lending everyone their room to DJ for bringing coffee, cookies and his guitar (or any guitar for that matter) to Damy for always looking out for me to V for showing up to discussions when no one else but me would (in 21 and 22 =X) to Flute J because she's an awesome flute bud and because she's one of the few female friends I've found this year to Scam for first and second quarter movie nights and popcorn and food to T for making me laugh with his pimp walk and such to miss XL for listening to my evil guy blather to K who I've known for quite a short time but is a very cool guy nonetheless to UJ for scaring the hell out of me (j/m) and for when he makes Apes smile to Bubble Boy because he is going to stay in ICS because I told him he has to (if you're reading this you know who you are mistah) to all the band people who made me feel quite welcome in Davis =) and oh lord I got less than four hours of sleep last night (sorry DMan) so I'm probably forgetting a mess of people/places/things nouns but dang...dang. What can I do foo.

I'm out like I'm out...forreals.

Something tells me that the guys will appreciate it more than the chickees =X

For those questions that I posted a while ago...well I had answers to them. But in all honesty I'm am feeling pretty exhausted right now. So I'm just going to answer the last one for now.

No....I don't fear death. When you really think about it, the only reason to fear death is because you really don't know what comes afterward. If you don't believe in an afterlife (which I don't) then...why should you? Maybe you could fear the pain and suffering that may be associated with death, but not death itself.

Not very eloquently stated, but I think you know what I mean. I'll post my thoughts on the other two situations later.

Self-evaluation. Yet another. And still no better.

Sometimes I pick up the old journals I used to keep, old letters, notes. It's amazing how much has changed over the years. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. But it doesn't really matter anymore, because I feel like I've lost everything.

Not everything in a material sense, I haven't lost anything tangible. In fact, I probably haven't lost everything, it just feels that way.

I guess it just feels that way you lose hope, that little "feathered thing". What really brought on all this was college applications, and since then it has been growing. When I was asked to define myself and I had no answer. When I was asked about plans for my future and I had no answer. When I was asked to describe my virtues and I had no answer. Since then, my self-respect, self-acceptance even, has been declining.

I've been trying to convince myself that I don't need anyone, and I think it's working. I never liked having anyone come too close to me, anyway. However, it's also made me wonder about what my life will be like ten, twenty, thirty years from now. That's where I really feel I have lost. I used to have so many plans for my future, but the desire to carry them out has faded. I wanted to get married, have kids, have a job. Now? All I want is to have a job that would allow me to be self-sufficient. I don't even know what job. I've lost confidence in myself. These past four years have done nothing but prove that I'm not as good, smart, talented, etc, as I thought I was. I used to think I was some sort of "academic Raskolnikov". Based on what? My supposed intelligence. Something I've grown to doubt. Something I've grown to resent.

All this time, I thought that I would become more sure of myself as I got older. Isn't that what is supposed to happen? Instead, I regressed.

And it just hurts so much.

-(3/19/01)

Been doing some hardcore studying because I've been blowing off biology all quarter. Despite the fact that I describe it as being bio for morons, I wouldn't be surprised if I get pounded by the final =X Oh lordage.

Got some late-night mexican food from Alejandro's yesterday with DMan and T. T got shiested =\ They forgot his order.

DMan and I were talking about two very real dilemmas that people face today in a study room when we should have been--er--studying.

-Say you're a man and your wife has just become pregnant. Suppose you discover that she has a 95% chance of not making it if she decides to have the baby. Would you want her to abort the baby or would you encourage her to go through with the pregnancy?

-Now put yourself in the woman's position. Would you still want to have the baby or would you rather abort it?

-Do you fear death?

There is a lot I want to write, but I feel rather unmotivated as of now. I'm also planning on making a new layout sometime this summer. Hope my dry spell will have let up by then.

In the meantime, is there anyone who can hook me up with a livejournal code? Hmm...

What kind of clothes should I be wearing? by Evelyn

Anyhow, I just got back from my math final. Finished verrry very early (less than 30 mins) so lets all hope that's a good sign...=\ I dunno.

Must study for ICS. And eat. Maybe

It's going to be a pain moving out. Dammit.

So what's your age....?

I had a kick back day last night--finishing my project was rather relieving. So yes, I went out, went home early, and had trouble sleeping because of ten o clock coffee.

Review session today. I'm in Irvine. And I'm going to go home yet again...loaded down with stuff so I won't have to move it out on Friday.

=)

I kind of like finals week.

And then finals. Blah.

Interesting ad was pinned up on the whiteboard when I walked into my LARC session on Tuesday.

It was a fabulous day, and an even more fabulous night...
But did you share MORE
than just your love?

It was in the Inqueery...the paper put out by the Irvine Queers, I believe.

Randomness. I'm rather sleepy. Incoherent.

Night.

Thanks for the link Stanford Guy =D

OMG I'm so tired. So so tired....

I just realized that I still haven't changed my alarm clock. It's still set an hour behind. I had just semi-woken up from a nap and took a look at the clock. Despite the fact that I could have sworn that I had been reading for 15-20 minutes after I got back from class at six--and then lay awake for some time before falling asleep--I felt a little disoriented there.

I still feel out of sorts. The rest of the hall went out for the hall dinner about 20 minutes ago. I have too much work to do so I stayed behind. I'll find something to eat later....

The way you think at night is no good in the morning

I don't know how to make me feel better.

I wish I knew what was wrong.

Frick...we have pictures of penii all over our suite. This is the fricken second time this has happened. Argh! And this time they drew on our door with fricken marker. Frick.

Do you know who wrote that? I'll give you three guesses =P

I'm just straight up exhausted today. Picnic today. I whipped the underlings' booties during the scavenger hunt (even though neener-face Mogy and the Brother ditched me =() and I got a $5 Jamba Juice gift certificate =D Then I went to go return Damy's parking permit. Went home. Went to another of the Brother's concerts. They played the Italian Symphony by Mendelssohn. I miss playing. I mean--really playing. I'd like to play in an orchestra again--but I'm afraid that I won't really have the opportunity to do that. Sad thought.

Check out this site. Mommy sent it to me (=)) Interesting origami. Not as interesting as body origami though (band people watch strange stuff on TV =X)

I don't know what compells me to read other journals. My friends' journals--obvious reasons. But random people I run into on the internet? I don't know. But I know it's not just me. There are just some interesting people out there. A lot of them, in fact.

Long day today. Put over 150 additional miles onto the car. My feet have blisters all in a row as a result of walking in dress shoes I'm not used to. All my makeup feels like it's been greased over. I feel disgusting. Went from a memorial service in LA to school--to my brother's concert in Claremont. Back home then to the Carrows near my house. I missed the band potluck =( I hear it was nothing special though.

Oh yes and I found yet another David Kim. The third one I've encountered in the past six months or so. There are too many feekin Davids and too many feekin Kims.

Feek.

System.out.println("In tribute to my awesome score on my program that didn't work I am going to do a post in java =D");
System.out.println("Despite the fact that my TA spent a good 2 1/2 weeks with our programs he did not have enough time to sufficiently test them.");
System.out.println("I know this because I knowingly turned in a program with faulty output.");
System.out.println("As a result I, along with one other person, have the highest program average in the section *yesss*);
for(int i= 0; i < numOfProjects; i++)
{

System.out.println("I RULE =D");

}
//not trying to be cocky but I'm just really really happy