-The bird who couldn't fly
-Trip to the beach
-Recent acquisition ;D
-Stupid snail

When things quiet down I'll try and find some time to blog and post pictures =)

I've also been ridiculously busy.

Schoolwork and all.

I'll be back soon.

I'm so stressed out. I really feel like I've brushed aside a lot of people in my life, but this time I really don't feel like I can really help it...I mean this has got to be the first quarter I've been truly worried about failing a class, and mos def the only quarter I've been in any danger of failing one of the classes required for my major. If I don't pass Math 6C I'm going to have one helluva time trying to find classes to take next quarter =\.

I'm envious of people like Styna and H who somehow managed to get everything done...and done early. I mean, Styna is walking next year and H, a fellow ICS major, is going to be done a quarter early.

I'm struggling.

I've come to some sort of realization that I'm really not all that special. Well, maybe I'm special in that I'm unusually short or...unusually white (that's not even a good kind of special =\) but I don't stand out here. Somehow I don't think I'll ever stand out no matter what I do. I think I'm fated to blend in and/or be overlooked =\

This whole year has felt gray.

Have you ever had bad years?

This is a bad year. My worst two quarters of college yet. My grandmother died (=(), my mom's uncle died (it was so sad watching her aunt, his wife, at the funeral...she was so small and sad =() I'd run into some pretty nasty financial trouble a couple months back.

I had the feeling it'd be a bad year. On new years eve I got into a fight with the bf, found out my grandmother was dying, and hit that car =\ Blah.

(I did have fun at Sar's with Leah, Oishiri, and Apes the following morning =))

Overall this year has been suckage in a drainpipe.

I just need something to go terribly right.

After I get my paycheck...

Did nine sections worth of math homework in two days. Went to Nishi. Went to the Huntington Library/Gardens/Gallery for my brother's chamber concert where he played a really cool oboe solo that he arranged for a chamber ensemble. The composer came to the performance to see my brother play and to see how the arrangement sounded (the part was originally for piano).

We should go to the Huntington Gardens. Group outing!

Blech. I'm tired of my site design. I wish I had time to redo it. I want something cleaner and brighter. I know I've complained about my site before but now I'm really, really sick of it.

What makes a site popular? A few years back it was the design. The crazy graphics, the layouts that changed on a regular basis, the javascripts and DHTML, the webpages in popup windows that nearly everyone (including myself) fell victim to. Now the focus on design has lessened and content seems much more important. I think part of this has something to do with the introduction of weblogs. Blogger, Livejournal, Xanga, etc. I think it's harder to get a following now. Now in order to get visitors you really have to have substance ;P That plus a nice, clean design. Don't need any of the fancy stuff anymore. In fact, you don't really need to know anything anymore because of all the ready-made layouts that services such as Diaryland and Blogger provide upon signup.

Quite frankly, I'm too lazy to crank out a stellar layout and I know better than to pretend that I'm interesting. Sure, my hits have doubled over the past couple of years, but I would say that about a good third of my traffic is generated by people searching for Harisu and porn. Check my referrals if you don't believe me.

Mm...I just checked my referrals right now. I got a hit from someone searching for "Cobras and Matadors". I've had this insane craving for their food. Granted, I've only eaten there once and we had a bitchy waitress, but I remember the food being good. Very different from the stuff I'm used to but very tasty nonetheless. I went shopping with the bf and his little sister this afternoon. I got a jacket at Old Navy for $20. That makes me happy.

Peace out homie Gs.

I don't know if people can even see me behind the desk.

If they can't maybe they won't come in because it looks like there is no one here.

Here's hoping...

That's my little plug for the day :)

Frustrated Me: How am I going to get through this quarter?

Pragmatic Me: Well...your chances for a decent GPA are pretty much shot...but you can still pass all your classes.

Frustrated Me: It seems pretty hopeless....

Pragmatic Me: But still possible. You just need to focus.

Frustrated Me: That's the hard part.

Pragmatic Me: I know.

Anyhow, I was talking to V after class and somehow the topic of weddings came up. Scary, ain't it? The whole conversation got me thinking...

...and I really shouldn't be thinking =X Not about that anyway.

It's all well and good for her. She's in her early twenties--turning twenty-three this year--and has a serious boyfriend that she's been with for over two years. I have a boyfriend and I think our relationship is pretty serious (by my definition anyway), but we've been together for less than a year. Plus I'm only nineteen.

Bad bad bad!

I do think, though, that at this point, people really should be looking for the qualities that they would want in a spouse in their boyfriend/girlfriend. That is, if they plan on marrying at all.

On another note, there's a pair of birds building a nest on the light above our door. It'll be a matter of days before there's a mountain of bird pucky all over the doormat.

Wahahahah ;D

Went to South Coast Plaza w/ Apes to look for shoes and a shirt to wear with her suit at a symposium tomorrow. Mission impossible. It was great therapy and helped calm my nerves a little. That plus the caffeine jitters had kind of worn off. She left for a bbq after we got back, so I signed on and chatted with the Stynalicious one after failing to find anything I wanted to eat in the kitchen. At around 10:30 the bf came over and we grabbed fast food and sat and talked in the car until 12:30-1 o clock. Somewhere around there.

After all that I started to feel a lot better.

Erm...okay I didn't get to finish typing that last night because I thought I woke Apes up =X So I...yeah. Blah. Anyway.

Urgh. I really don't think I have the smarts or the time-management skills to handle four classes. Well, technically I have five...but that one doesn't count. I'm sick of juggling. I just want to drop all the balls and simply give up.

*I'm wired on coffee and I'm finding it quite difficult to type.

I have this strange sensation of wanting to laugh and cry at the same time. My head is all confused so I'm doing neither.

I was driving to the florist to order a bouquet earlier and my face started to twitch.

I think that what I really need at this point is for someone to hold my hand and guide me through the rest of the quarter. Someone who'll make sure that I come out okay in the end. At this point in my life, that's not going to happen. What I really need to do is take charge of my life and learn how to care for myself on my own.

I'm have more to write but I'm going to stop right here for the time being. I'm so shaky and spastic right now that I keep making all sorts of typos. It takes forever to get through one sentence.

Until later...

The best rhymes I's ever seen....: Another flashback. Click on the comments and you'll find a battle that rivals that of 8 Mile ;) It was pretty awesome.

I forgot to post my construction worker story. So yes, on Monday I was driving to school after running back during my hour break to shower and grab some books and such. So I got to the Michelson/Harvard intersection and was waiting to make a left turn. Right in the middle of the intersection were four orange cones with a construction worker looking person with a clipboard, surveying the area I guess. Anyway, the arrow turned green and I was watching the cones to make sure I didn't hit them and I saw the man in the orange vest was squatting in the middle of the cones so he could write on the clipboard and lo and behold.....plumbers butt. Blah.

Okay that was anticlimactic.

I need to get some stuff done at work tonight ;P For a change.

Peesh.

I scored a 42% on the "HoW AzN aRe YoU??" Quizie! What about you?

;P

Yep, those are a couple of before and after pictures. I'm 99% certain that I failed my 6c midterm (I don't know for sure because I folded it in half and stapled and taped it =X) and I got suddenly compelled to clean my half of the room. It's still not as neat as the roomie's half but still significantly better.

And yes, that is Leah's webpage on my monitor in the first photo.

visit him ;)

Yesterday, I went to a couple of my brother's performances. The first one was for YSW. Technically, he's not part of the group, but the director calls him up to ask him to fill in as a first oboe on a regular basis. So he sits in and sightreads, which I think is pretty darn crazy. There are still a few good players in the group (like Flute Girl, she's awesome!) but the quality of the group as a whole has sharply declined since the days when she (another extremely awesome flute player) was in YSW.

Sidenote: Potluck 2003 is on June 7th...mark your calendars!

The second performance was broadcasted live from the Bing theater at LACMA on kmozart. All those kids were mighty good, although I can't say that I care for Beethoven compositions for violin, cello, and piano (I slept through both of them).

Let me know if anyone is up for some free jazz on a Friday sometime this summer =D. They have it in the plaza at LACMA from April until December (or at least that's what I remember reading).

Goo goo goo and ta ta.

I was talking to Styna on AIM (shhh...don't tell!) the other night at work about jeans. I always favored Gap jeans because they come in short lengths that fit me perfectly. I never even thought of buying kids jeans. Styna suggested that I try GapKids. She said they fit pretty well, plus they're cheaper. After looking at the size charts, I think she's right. I'd probably fit into a size 12, regular waist. I was always kind of dubious about kids jeans because for my height, I've got pretty hefty thighs ;P. Oh well, it's worth a shot.

I'm at work right now. Exhausted. I need to go to lab to turn in my program.

This past week was hell and a half. Here's hoping for a much calmer next two weeks.

Your Heart is Blue

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

But I'm not heartbroken. I never really have been. I'm actually very in love right now *knock on wood*. I hope it's not a sign ;P

Or whatever...

Anyway, I failed one midterm and passed the other yesterday. Found out that my 2B midterm was readjusted so I have an 80 instead of a 74 *yessssss* and to think I thought I failed that baby! The homework for ICS that I got a 70 on (*booo*) in now in the regrade queue even though the grader didn't seem to want to regrade it when I sent her an email requesting a regrade. Wahah. So I emailed the professor and she told the grader to regrade mine. WAHAH.

Not much to say. I'm stressed. I'm going to start my homework at 11. I swear it. I'll post a more coherent thing about BLT at some other time. Maybe even with a picture of my cool POSTER (wahahah jealous? ;D....kidding kidding)

Flute J: Sit down fool!
Me: Sit down foo!
Flute J: I don't know...I always say fool.
Me: That's cause you're not ghetto like me. You rich San Marino kids can afford the L.