Him: wait, you're cutting onions?

Me: I only have to cut them into quarters, see

I hack a yellow onion into four pieces as VV watches, slightly concerned. I grab the bag of celery out of the fridge and start yanking stalks off of the bunch.

Him: do you have to cut that?

Me: yes, but only into, like, six pieces

I slam the knife through the celery and drop the large chunks into the slow cooker. VV doesn't stop watching me until I've added all the seasonings and vegetables into the crock pot. It's not until I start pouring water over the turkey bones that he, wrapped in a blanket and holding our Japan piggy, finally goes upstairs to the bedroom.

I can't blame him though. See that bottle in the photo? GUESS WHO FINISHED IT IN ONE NIGHT. And guess who is writing a blog post on her iPhone using HTML tags. BOOYAH. Happy thanksgiving bitches!