Thanks to David and Henry (H Dub?) for selling my evil textbook for me :D
Speaking of David, he posted this on his page a really long time ago and I decided to rip it off because that's what I do.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice
people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that,as
anobservant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to
Old Testament, Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any
circumstance.The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a
resident, as posted on an Internet forum.
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge
as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22
states it to be an abomination. End of
debate.I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the
other specific laws and how to follow them.
1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing smell for the Lord - Leviticus 1:9. The problem is my
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?
3. I know that I am not allowed to have contact with a woman while she
in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Leviticus 15:19-24. The
is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A
friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.
Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states she should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Leviticus 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
7. Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.
Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair cut, including the hair
their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by the bible, in
Leviticus 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Leviticus 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments
made of two different kinds of thread (cotton and polyester blend). He
also tends to curse a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Leviticus
24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? Leviticus 20:14
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you
can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal