Oh yeah that last day that I was all frustrated and feeling out of sorts I went to go get coffee. I didn't feel like going by myself, so I thought hmm...who should I go to Starbucks with? And of course, when I thought Starbucks, I thought Sar! Thanks for the company miss bonsai boobie.

Speaking of Starbucks the new one on Garvey finally opened. The employees there are all new, so they're still nice people and not all eh. It's decent, I guess. Oh well, that means I don't have to go all the way to Atlantic if I want coffee at eleven at night. Rock on.

Anyhow, I didn't really get to go online yesterday so I didn't get to wish Ape a happy birthday. So yes, her birthday was yesterday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY APE! We celebrated her birthday the night before that at Chez Sateau. Loud waiter, free cake for the birthday girl, some chillaxin at Ape's casa after dinner. Was all good.

Had the talk about college life with the kiddies yesterday. Which meant I didn't have to do any prep or any teaching that day. Weehee. I went to Sunflower's house to pick up a job app afterwards and stayed there for a couple of hours to chat. Left not too long after Leahcimar stopped by (he was driving!) to get his application. K made the drive out to see me again yesterday because he r0x0rs my b0x0rs (or he would if I had b0x0rs).

I have to look for my college essay. We're supposed to give the kiddies a college app talk on Thursday =( In all honesty, I don't have too much to say about that--I was miserable around application time. Miserable and depressed. Sometimes I wonder if I can really measure up to the other section leaders. I didn't graduate with a 4.0 like Yale Guy and SD Girl, or even come close like Cal Girl. I think I'm the only section leader ever (or one of the few) who wasn't an NHS-er at some point in high school. I wasn't super-involved or particularly well-known on campus, and although I suppose I took the "right" or "expected" classes (other SHSers can attest to that) and passed the majority of my exams (cursed US History--although my brilliant brother also got a 2 on it so I don't feel too badly about that...) I didn't exactly stand out in any of them. I guess I'm just the odd one out of the bunch, the black sheep so to speak, and that realization really grounded me. I guess that's a good thing, but at the same time I feel like I have to prove myself to the students in order to gain their respect. An informal poll of my students revealed UCLA, Cal, and UCSD to be the first choices of nearly all the kids in my sections. They would look up to Cal Girl and SD Girl. And Yale Guy? Sure, none of them named Yale as a first-choice school, but fo sheezies he's going to a top-ranked Ivy League school.

Sometimes I feel so inadequate.

Which is why I'm not thrilled about having to share my application essay. It wasn't particularly good, or even very interesting. Or creative.

Well, maybe that's a good thing. I don't know. Very conservative and straightforward. Conservative and boring. No interesting anecdotes, no creative writing style (although we had discussed today after class that creative styles can be detrimental; for instance writing in a stream of consciousness can make the admissions officers think you're the next Faulkner--or a Benjy--if you know what I mean).

Rawr. What can I do.